Low points

GAIN: 2 POUNDS

Today has not been the best day ever. In fact, it's been pretty goddamn horrible.

First of all, it's my "Star Week." Which probably didn't help, in hindsight. Then I found out that an uncle who's in hospital awaiting treatments has got yet ANOTHER infection, meaning he can't get the treatment he needs until that's dealt with. And then to top it off, I've had another gain.

Now, the rational part of my brain is telling me that 2 pounds is nothing. It can be lost in a WEEK. That, compared to all the major bad things going on in the world, 2 pounds is not remotely a big deal. But the irrational, hormone-fuelled part of my brain is the part that made me burst into tears in front of everyone and flee to the bathroom at Group tonight. Mum had to come in and calm me down, as I sobbed that I'd never make it to a damn stone and can't even shift away from the 6 pounds/half a stone mark. She asked if I wanted to stop coming to Group, as it was upsetting me so much - and for a moment, I genuinely considered it. I felt like I was destined to never lose more than half a stone in my life, and was just supposed to be big - that this was just one in a line of all the failed diets I've tried.

I finally composed myself, and went back into Group. Joan came over to talk to me and I found myself spilling - about not being able to stop snacking, about Louise and Alex both making it to a Stone loss before me even though they were doing it the calorie-counting way (something Slimming World strongly advises against), about how Alex gave me some of her old clothes because she's lost so much weight. And at that, I broke down crying again, so Mum decided to take me home early.

So, here I am. Told Louise and Alex I wouldn't be Skype-ing them tonight as I feel so damn low. Got Joel to take me to MacDonald's to "make me feel better" - which I realise was completely stupid and counter-productive and ridiculous. So, even more failure. And right now, I feel like shit.