Problems

The last few days have been pretty nondescript, to be honest. I think now I've slotted into the whole idea of "being on a diet" (even though I KNOW that's not SlimmingWorld's "thing") it feels boring, safe and familiar - as opposed to a month ago when the whole thing was new and exciting. Despite being 8 pounds lighter (apparently) I don't feel or look ANY different - and can't stop being paranoid that whenever people say I do, they're just trying to placate or motivate me.

I'm sick of all the "perfect" girls who walk past our bank of desks at work everyday - and even more sick of the lads on my team who ogle them. It sounds stupid, anti-feminist and pathetic, but I want to be ogled. I saw a girl outside work today in a blue and white polka dot pencil skirt - and as she bent over to retrieve something from her car, I found myself staring. Like, literally just STARING as I walked past - and all I could think was "I want that bum." See, big-headed and selfish as it sounds, I want to be one of those women. I want Joel to double-take when I walk in in a nice outfit.... I want to walk past a group of people who not only look twice but envy the way I walk, wonder what I look like out of business-wear, admire my curves...... I suppose that's what every girl wants - the only thing I hate is that I have to work for it. And not just that - I will have to work for a really really REALLY long time before it's going to come true. Sigh.

Told Imran I won't be winning the bet, so he's extended it for a week. Bless him.

Joel and I are moving house in a fortnight - with a bit of luck some of the stress will maybe help me lose weight. Unlikely though, seeing how Joel's usually the stress-head, and I'm the laid back one.

Hmmmmm...... I'm running out of options at the moment, to be honest. I'm totally bored with all the food I'm preparing, and I know Joel is too. Problem is, I'm too skint at the moment to buy loads of new ingredients, or even fruit to Speed things up. My only vegetable intake is the lettuce I have as part of my lunch salad every day - and I always find myself sneaking a pack of (6 Syn) French Fries when I get home from work. Truth is, I'm bored, and until tea I need something to do with my hands. The trouble is I'm far too lazy to scrub the kitchen/bathroom/whatever, Joel doesn't appreciate the thought of any romantic tyrsts when he comes home from work, and I can't start cooking straight away. Maybe I should take up smoking, or embroidering. I can't spend ALL my time on here, doing my SlimmingDiary.