A Compendium of Harpurhey Swimmers

Dear Diary,

Hearing about my exercise regime EVERY DAY must surely get a little boring. So tonight, I thought I'd mix it up a little, and present - for your entertainment (or just mild amusement) - A Compendium of Harpurhey Swimmers. Just a little compilation of the type of people who frequent our gym's humble pool!

(PS: Sorry if it's a drag to read about, but any mention of tattoos is partly because of my new obsession, but partly because they really do tell you a lot about people. And also 98% of the population of Harpurhey is tattooed, to be fair.)

A COMPENDIUM OF HARPURHEY SWIMMERS

 

  

THE MIDDLE-AGED SINGLE MUMS

 

The most common-or-garden resident of Harpurhey, the Middle-Aged Single Mum will usually stop by at the pool twice a week, and constantly justify it with the line "I'm watching my figure.... cos no-one else will! (*forced laugh*)" Sherlock Holmes could deduce these women in seconds - throwaway comments like the above, tattoos as mentioned below, the lack of wedding ring, and the casual mention of her kids about 3/4 of the way into a conversation with the nearest man.

 

Swimming Style: Will do one or two lengths to show willing, but eventually give up and sit in the shallow end for 45 minutes, chatting and pretending they're cooling down from a previous gym session.

 

Most likely to talk to: Mutual acquaintances from the pub (always men).

 

Tattoos: Their kid's name(s) in Script on their arms, a very old, faded butterfly or flower on their upper arm, and at least one uplifting quote that alludes to them becoming stronger after a break-up.

 

THE BIKINI TWEENS

 

Not to mince words, but there is absolutely NO reason for these girls to be here. They barely swim (and if they do, it's four abreast - in the Medium lane where people are trying to actually get AROUND them constantly), they DOUSE themselves in perfume and keep full make-up on. To come to a pool. Just let that sink in for a moment. They spend about a minute and a half dipping their pedicured toes into the water and squealing (this is in a pool heated to 33 degrees), before sitting endlessly in the shallow end and flirting with the Pervs, being persuaded to join them in the sauna in an attempt to grope each other under the water. They constantly and gigglingly say no, claiming it's because "I respect myself!" But you just KNOW they're going to do it anyway.

 

Swimming Style: Oh, they don't swim. Not at all. It would get their hair wet!

 

Most likely to talk to: Each other, about the most banal, un-utterably boring things imaginable. Or the Pervs. Most likely to get the attention and have a little giggle, but then wonder why the Pervs keep staring at their chests. In a low-cut BIKINI?! It's a mystery, truly it is.

 

Tattoos: Either a pretty butterfly on the shoulder/hip, or a really obvious word like "SERENITY" scrawled across the lower back (Yep, tramp stamp. You guessed it!)

 

THE PERVS

 

Usually 19-15 year-old boys/men who drop into the pool for about 20 minutes, purely to gawp at the Bikini Tweens, chat them up and attempt to invite them into the Sauna. Usually have very good physiques, which they will "accidentally" contort into very-obviously-showing-off positions every now and then, just to show how much they've been working out.

 

Swimming Style: Will only do about 5 lengths to show off their mad skillz, before conveniently and "accidentally" ending up dawdling wherever the Bikini Tweens are having their latest conversation.

 

Most likely to talk to: The Bikini Tweens, duh. They're in with a chance of pulling! Either that, or the Middle-Aged Single Mums who embarrassingly stop them to chat about their own mothers.  

 

Tattoos: Either a "hilarious" camel on their toe, "ONLY GOD CAN JUDGE ME" across their chest, or some douchy Latin quote that signifies them either being "totally religious," or hard as balls - usually as a result of Army training. Even if they're not in the Army, and never have been.

 

THE FOREIGN GUYS

 

What it says on the tin. A group of men who don't speak English, are WAY too tanned to be feasible in the North West, and wearing trunks the size of which no Englishman would ever even CONTEMPLATE.

 

Swimming Style: The odd few lengths here and there (swimming in twos to make it more awkward for the rest of us), before stopping dead in the middle of one lane to simply STAND there, chatting. Bang in the middle of EVERYONE trying to swim around them. An explanation is never given.

 

Most likely to talk to: Each other, and nobody else. In their own language.

 

Tattoos: Something (you will never know what) written in some language (you will never know) down the forearm. Possibly gang symbols, possibly just names. Who knows?

 

THE REALLY BAD SWIMMERS

 

These men (it's always men. Always.) usually swim on their own. Except "swimming" is the loosest term possibly - these men thrash up and down like epileptic otters, take about 25 minutes to complete 1 length, and constantly provoke worried looks from passing swimmers and lifeguards...... given that they look like they are about to drown at any given second. And they are always bald.

 

Swimming Style: Best described as "backstroke combined with child trying to ward off a hornet attack," or "doggy paddle with at least 16 extra kicks per second."

 

Most likely to talk to: Absolutely nobody. Apart from the person who will one day grab their wrist to save them from drowning.

 

Tattoos: None. These people shouldn't even leave the house. And probably don't, apart from to come "swimming."

 

THE OLD GUYS

 

These men do actually swim, (in the Slow lane) but chatting to each other all the way. About friends from the pub, something their friend said in the pub, a football match they watched in the pub last week, or the new barmaid in the pub. In short, they may be the nicest people in the world, but their conversations make you want to cut your own ears off.

 

Swimming Style: Unlike 85% of the people in the pool, these actually attempt to exercise. They do laps with the fitness of military men gone to seed, but dammit they still try.

 

Most likely to talk to: Each other. Or the Middle-Aged Single Mums, to catch up with them about mutual acquaintances.

 

Tattoos: Several EXTREMELY faded words/pictures that are so blurred, they essentially just resemble grey smears - being that they were acquired circa 1942.

 

THE MODERATE EXERCISERS

 

Featuring yours truly! These swimmers are here for the Long Haul. Constantly despairing about the small capacity of the pool (and the idiots who barely even USE it), longing for more room to REALLY let fly, and compiling lists like these in their heads to pass the time.

 

Swimming Style: Relentlessly back and forth, varying strokes, desperate to reach a pre-determined goal (50 laps in 1 hour). Will stop for a break every 10 laps, feel absolutely fantastic for being there, and will only leave the pool when physically dragged out by impatient other half.

 

Most likely to talk to: Each other, if only to complain about the packed capacity of the pool, or congratulate each other on laps done/records beaten.

 

Tattoos: Given that I only have myself in this category to take examples from, I may have to come back to you on this one.

 

THE HARDCORES

 

There's hardly a description for these types, as they swim so damn fast, you can barely even SEE them. These men/women (you never can tell) are here on BUSINESS, they stick to the Fast Lane for the entire session and there isn't a single thing that will stop them from thrashing out about 100 lengths in the space of an hour. And they would still worry that they hadn't beaten their record.

 

Swimming Style: Olympic. End of.

 

Most likely to talk to: Absolutely nobody. Because talking would disturb their rhythm, brah.

 

Tattoos: Do they actually have any? Nobody knows. They swim too fast.

 

 

Svelte Swimmers!

GAIN: 4 POUNDS

Dear Diary,

Yeah, you read that right. For some mad, unknown reason, when it got to Monday's weigh-in at Group, I had gained 4 pounds. I heard every theory possible from everybody...... from "pre-menstrual water retention" (a little bit early, haha!) and "muscle gain from all the swimming", to "my "body catching up from the alcoholic excesses of last week." I barely heard any of it, to be honest - I was too busy being upset. But it was different this time, I was more determined than weepy - and immediately called Joel to come and pick me up (feeling that nothing could be gained from staying at Group) and take me straight to the gym to put in an hour before Skype-ing the girls. Which, I definitely thing was the better option!

Incidentally, we found out that evening that - according to Louise's infamous spreadsheet - it has almost been a year since we all started Slimming World! So we're planning to all weigh ourselves at home next week, and whatever weight comes up, that will be our "One Year Weight." Good plan, right? Well, in theory, given that my scales have suddenly decided to spaz out and stop working..... May have to try the Asda pharmacy!

As for the rest of this week - things have been going well so far, I think. Haven't had any slip-ups or binges.... have stuck RELENTLESSLY to healthy eating and avoided hot chocolates at work. And the even better news is that Sian's mum got in touch with me, to tell me that her hen do (this Saturday) is going to take place at Panama Hatty's, and the theme is 40's. So, not only can I dig out one of my most flattering dresses (see below), but also I got the chance to read the menu and plan my meal in advance! Have chosen Anchovies on toast to start (anchovies on crostini with chopped tomatoes and onions) and Salmon Ristotto for main. And, of course, NO PUDDING!! Going to try and steer clear of alcohol of course, but it's me. And one of my best friends. And a hen party. What else can happen? Just going to do my best, and try and at least order low-syn drinks, if not ALL Diet Cokes.

 

The dress!

 

 

Swimming this week has been MAGNIFICENT. Thanks to a promise Joel and I made last week, we've been taking full advantage of the pool in our gym, not just on Friday's like we used to - but EVERY NIGHT. The plan was to do 50 lengths a night (it's only open for an hour), which has so far gone well! It's hard as anything, but feels totally worth it once you get going. Last night it was only open for half an hour, so was going to just stick to 25 lengths - until I got a text from Louise proclaiming that I should "try for 30 - I want to see you sweat, O'Connor!" And try I did - not only did I hit 31 lengths, but the exercise also seemed to fix my knee, which I pulled on Tuesday.

 

Swimming really is magnificent though, can't believe how long it took me to start doing it properly again! The only thing that dampened it slightly was the reaction I got from the gym-bunny friend at work - who couldn't believe I'd given up the gym for a week "just to swim." That really irritated me - swimming totally helps you lose weight! And it doesn't "just tone your body" (as he claimed), but it's low impact, easier, more pleasant, you use your whole body AND burns up to 500 calories an hour. And that's just MODERATE swimming, really caning it can burn up to 700! I'd have to be in the gym for 3 HOURS to burn that amount! If anything else, swimming's been named as the 2nd best exercise possible! He needs to read a goddamn book.

 

Not to mention it's therapeutic, too! I can't tell you how much I forget all my trivial little problems and worries when I'm thrashing my way up and down the pool. I even came up with a little analogy last night, whilst somewhere around the 26th length.

See, it occurred to me, that starting to swim again was like getting a tattoo. You decide you want to go for it, you start it off, the first few minutes hurt like hell, and you find yourself wondering why it seemed like a good idea. After the next few lengths, you realise there's still a long way to go, and there's no point bitching about it. By the time you hit halfway, you've set your mind to the task - you know you're in it for the long haul...... and whilst the pain is still there, you're resigned to it, and are even able to ignore it. By the last stretch, the pain is non-existent, the feelings are pleasant, and all you can think about are the bragging rights you've earned. And by the end? Well, you're drained, exhausted and achy, but by god, you know you're going to end up with a beautiful result :-)

 

Yeah, it's corny, I know! Anyway, I'm off again to the pool in 10 minutes, so better get my cossie ready!

 

Xxxx

 

Katie the Water-baby

GAIN: 1 POUND

Dear Diary,

Seriously, I have the luck of the devil. After a very well-behaved week, I sadly threw it all away on Friday..... or so I thought! In the grand tradition of Payday, I went out for lunch with workmates at our nearest and dearest cocktail bar (refused alcohol and had a Caesar salad!) - and then out for "just a few." And, as anyone who knows me can testify, it is never "just a few" with me. In my defence though, I haven't had a night out in about 3 months! And I swear, you haven't LIVED until you've tried a Zombie from a Hawaiian bar.

Unfortunately the night ended up at a house party in a student accommodation somewhere (it all became a bit of a blur after that) - leaving me with a chronic 2-day hangover. On the plus side though, even if this makes me feel INCREDIBLY old, at least it means I have a smaller capacity than I used to - I guess Slimming World is really working!

So yeah, never thought I'd say this about a Gain, but I am THRILLED. Thrilled to have got away with a mere 1 pound set-back - and full of determination for the week ahead. And excited too - for if, by some miracle, I actually SURPASS the 2 pound loss needed before Sian's hen party to get me to my 1.5 Stone, then I can always aim for my Club 10!

That's all to report this week, really. It was my day off today, so to keep the good feeling going I made a HUGE salad for lunch and went swimming (apparently there's an Adult Swim hour between 12-1pm on Tuesdays). The salad was FIT - consisting of lettuce, peppers, red onions, spring onions, new potatoes, pasta, chicken and light dressing, and as for the swimming - I DID 40 LENGTHS!!! That's the most I've done in one session since HIGH SCHOOL, definitely feeling the burn now though.

So, apart from that, not much to report since we last spoke. No temptations coming up this week - potential trip down South with Joel's dad and brother if I can get the day off work, but should be able to choose a healthy option at a pub lunch. And there's nothing social after that until the 24th, so keep everything crossed! If I can just get 2 pounds off by next week, I'll be a very happy bunny!

Xxxxx

More good news!

LOSS: 3.5 POUNDS

Dear Diary,

SURPRISE!! Yes, in a move anticipated by Louise's spreadsheet (but not me!) I have had the "Big Loss" I was due. It seems there's a lot to be said for looking at Slimming the mathematical way! According to the law of averages (I'm guessing..... maths really isn't my strong suit), apparently I have periods where I'll lose a huge chunk, then gain half of it back, then bob around 1 pound/half a pound losses for a couple of weeks, gain again, and then have another massive loss. So there you have it - the spreadsheet has spoken!
So, in honour of my mathematical friend (who recently became a qualified actuary!), here's a quick numbers update:

STARTING WEIGHT: 17st 5lbs
STARTING WEIGHT IN KGS: 110.2kgs
STARTING WEIGHT IN LBS: 243lbs
STARTING BMI: 35.9

CURRENT WEIGHT: 15st 13lbs
CURRENT WEIGHT IN KGS: 101kgs
CURRENT WEIGHT IN LBS: 223lbs
CURRENT BMI: 32.9

WEIGHT LOST: 1st 6lbs
KILOGRAMS LOST: 9.2kgs
POUNDS LOST: 20
PERCENTAGE OF BODY WEIGHT LOST: 8.2%
BMI DECREASE: 3
So as you can see, I'm only 1 pound off my Stone and a Half (again)! Let's just have a little look at the goals I set a while back:

"..... and together we worked out that if I lose a pound and a half a week, that should put me back to my 1.5 Stone by the Tattoo convention in August (irrelevant, but I like to have milestones!), 2 Stone by Sian's wedding/France in September, 2.5 Stone by my birthday in October, and 3 Stone by Christmas!"

Well, the good news there, is that whilst I haven't EXACTLY hit the first goal, I'm not a million miles away. In fact, I'm only a pound away. So, you know what? I'll take it! I've missed three things out, though - two events and a goal. The events being Sian's Hen Party and Joel's 30th birthday..... and the goal being my Club 10 (which falls a mere 4 pounds away at 15st 9lbs). And with CLASSIC timing, Sian's hen do falls on the 24th of August, slap-bang in the middle of the Tattoo Convention and the Wedding/France holiday! So, that's my next goal. As for Joel's 30th, while his BIRTHDAY falls on the 2nd of September, the actual party is going to be later, on the 28th. So, at least if I haven't hit the 2 Stone mark by France, I can always aim for the Party!

TO SUMMARISE:

1.5 Stone by Tattoo Convention - 3rd August
Club 10 by Sian's Hen Party - 24th August
2 Stone by Sian's Wedding - 15th September
2 Stone by France holiday - 20th September (if previous goal is not met)
2 Stone by Joel's 30th - 29th September (if previous goal is not met)
2.5 Stone by my 27th - 23rd October
3 Stone by Christmas - 25th December (giving me 2 MONTHS to keep it together and allow for any mishaps)

Now, if THAT doesn't give me incentives to plan for, I don't know what WILL. I'm excited just looking at it! And let's face it, I've already had a pretty sweet head-start recently - I mean, an 8 pounds in 3 weeks loss feels pretty goddamned good to me! Not to mention I can colour in more segments on the summer "Half Stone Challenge" Joan set us a while ago:

I'm surprised I did THAT well this week, usually after such a big loss I tend to Maintain for a while or have a slight gain. But I'm guessing the four gym sessions we had this week, plus swimming (and I'm talking HARDCORE swimming, not the half-arsed dandle-about-in-the-shallow-end-and-chat approach that other gym members seem to take), plus the six hours SOLID spent walking around the GMEX in town on Saturday probably did their part! The six hours walking round the GMEX was for the Tattoo Convention. Really, it could have been done in about an hour, or two at most - but people kept arriving and setting stands up throughout the day, so there were always more acts to watch, tattoos to look at, competitions to enter and portfolios to see!

How fantastic is THIS? I love a good twist on an old classic!

Sadly (or luckily, given my impulsive nature!) I couldn't afford to take any money with me - so all the cool necklaces, bracelets, souvenirs, books, magazines and actual spur-of-the-moment tattoos had to wait until next year. But we saw some incredible artwork (on paper and people!), familiar faces from my tattoo studio in their own booth, and some groovy circus acts. Not to mention we went for a good old traditional Free meal at Tampopos!

Unfortunately, I was struck down with a rather fierce bout of flu on Sunday - so wasn't able to go to work OR stay for Image Therapy at Group last night. But thanks to a very patient chauffeur Joel, I was able to quickly run in and get weighed..... plus some Hi Fi bars for the week! I should've stayed at home, I know, but I was desperate not to spend an entire week getting sketchy, unreliable results from my are-they-or-aren't-they-accurate? scales at home. But I weighed myself before I went, so can at least now be safe in the knowledge that my home scales are exactly 1 pound ahead of the Slimming World scales!

Texted Auntie Pam and Mum the good news - both thrilled. Mum's on a cycling holiday with Dad in France at the moment so unable to come to Group..... but they Face-Timed me a few days ago to show me the villa they were staying at, and apparently none of their friends recognised me at first, because I've lost weight! That's the most common thing people say to me now, "oooh, you can tell it's come off your face!" Which is great, but why can't it come off my stomach or thighs or arms instead?? Grrr.

Going to given the Gym a miss tonight, just to make fully sure I'm recovered before I start back on it tomorrow - I'm aching like buggery so it's probably for the best. To be fair, I probably sweated AT LEAST 2 out of the 3.5 pounds I lost by tossing and turning all Sunday night, twisting the bed sheets into ropes and not eating a thing all Monday. That said, I'm much better than I was yesterday, so one more day should do it. Can't wait - when I'm at home all evening I get terrible urges to snack constantly. That's why I've also applied to volunteer at the Bury Deaf Centre (this is a career-helping move too, I should probably admit!) and for a place in the Manchester Show Choir, who are apparently recruiting in September.

Watch this space!

Xxxxx

PS: Found this on the SW Facebook page this morning. Seems apt!

Average Aftermath

Dear Diary,

This week's been kind of blah, weight loss-wise. The good news is, I Maintained on Monday. The bad news is I found a set of scales hidden away in the spare room, and have fallen into the trap of obsessively weighing myself every day. At least I have now full proof of the theory that we weigh less in the morning than we do at night! And the results are showing brilliantly - even though they fluctuate from day to day, they all have one common denominator..... THEY ARE LESS THAN WHAT I WEIGHED LAST WEEK. Showing a few cheeky zeros, even bobbing UNDER the stone below, whatever Monday's results are going to be, it's looking good so far!

What other news from this week? Saturday was good, Joel and I went to Bury market to collect a ton of fresh fish and meat, so that's a load of healthy teas sorted for the next few weeks! Also went to visit Grandma on Sunday with Auntie Pam and had a lovely pub lunch - mine consisted of Chicken breast in a "reduced" red wine (whatever THAT means) with mashed potato and spinach:

Unfortunately my starter was a small goat's cheese with rocket and a red onion tartlet - but I had a few Syns saved, and dessert/drinks were avoided!
The problem is, I had an absolutely HORRIBLE shock back at Grandma's. Whilst helping with some garden work and shifting things about, I happened to pass a range of photos in the room leading to her conservatory. And, stopping to look at Grandma's old headshot from her acting days, I noticed this monstrosity:

 

Completely forgotten we'd given her a copy of this photo. I haven't even seen the original since 2008. But staring at that huge girl in the photo, with chunky arms and two chins, I almost felt sick. And all I could think to myself was; "no matter how little I've lost so far, at least I look better than THAT."

 

Had a VERY big helping hand from Auntie Pam when she dropped us off home that afternoon, as well - in the form of a GORGEOUS, hot pink little number:

 

It's a Food and Fitness Diary! Available at M + S (shameless plug, I know, but you NEED this baby in your life), it's got sections for Shopping Lists, Weekly meal planners, Food Diaries, and Exercise Diaries. One of the BEST presents I've ever got - especially in my new organised phase (which, by the by, is still going strong!)

 

Meals this week have been VERY good - chicken and mushroom casserole, lean mince burgers and SW chips, fat-removed ribs and rice..... plus my lunches have been great too. My only drawback has been a recently acquired Quavers hobby - but at 5 Syns (and 88 calories) a pack, it's nothing that can't be reconfigured with a few hearty gym sessions!

Oooh, speaking of which, I have been absolutely SPANKING it at the gym recently! Fell into a slight lapse where I'd only go for half an hour a night and put in a half-arsed effort on the weights, instead of pushing my cardio work. But last night, SH!T. GOT. REAL. Make the (rather delightful) mistake of climbing on the cross-trainer straight after somebody else, and after 10 minutes of non-stop (for the first time, I might add!) heavy exercise, looked down and discovered that I'd forgotten to change the difficulty level to one. FROM EIGHT. Not only had I managed to clear 10 full minutes WITHOUT stopping for a breather, I'd managed to do so on a level SEVEN ABOVE MY USUAL!! How great is that?!

As a little aside, a FANTASTIC gym song that I can't stop listening to every time I hit the cross-trainer, is "Hey Baby (Drop it to the floor)" by Pitbull ft. T-Pain. A pounding, catchy, thumping monster of a track, it has a constant beat to keep time to - and it's remix with Salt n Peppa and the Black Eyed Peas ("Hey Baby, Push the Time) brings back memories of holidaying in Turkey with the girls, where I first heard it..... Not to mention those by-the-pool photos of me in a cossie were incentive enough to drop the pounds!

After the gym, we came out into the blazing sunshine, absolutely chock-full of endorphins and excitement at pushing past my usual capabilities - hadn't had such a good buzz-on from the gym in ages. I even had NECK SWEAT!! I have NEVER sweated on my neck before!!

I'll leave you with a fantastic quote acquired from a gym-bunny friend at work today:

"Sweat is your Fat, crying. It's upset, you see - it doesn't want to leave your body. So, you get your ass in that gym and make that bitch wail!"

Xxxxx

Back on track!

LOSS: 4.5 POUNDS

Dear Diary,

I DID IT!!! After a week's hard work (and let's face it, a little of the Fear of God put into me from last week), I finally clawed something back, regained some dignity and the ability to smile at Group again on Monday. OK, so I didn't have the shock, awe and disbelief of the time I lost 8 pounds in one week - but it was still pretty special. Having people congratulate me, seeing Mum's proud smile and the flurry of happy texts that followed from various friends and family members - it was all worth it. Got home, and instead of my usual Monday night celebration-or-commiseration binge fest, stuck to a very modest 4 syn tea.

The week that followed has been magnificent. Managed for the first time in ages to get my Syns down to not only less than 15, but less than TEN a day - something of a record for me! I made HUGE batches of tuna pasta and spaghetti Bolognese to take to work for lunch - following Joan's advice to eat more Free meals. Sadly, the arrival of Star Week set me back somewhat on Thursday, leading to a much regretted "screw this, only a Yorkie, Frappuccino and Macdonald's will do!" lapse - but was straight back on it the next day. One day out of a week isn't at all bad - and more than made up for it with a hot chicken for tea on Friday.

This weekend doesn't seem to be posing any problems so far, I'm glad to report! Today started off with a lovely sunny walk around Bury market, collecting lots of meat and fish for new recipes. Then Joel's dad and brother came round again to do more bathroom work - only instead of suggesting the usual Chinese/Curry for tea (as Joel's dad likes to treat himself in his retirement!), they pitched up with a veritable TON of salad ingredients! Lettuce, chicken, beef, tomatoes, coleslaw, spring onions, you name it. Got quite the surprise - apparently they don't like to eat/cook hot food in this kind of weather, so we tossed it all together and chowed down..... was a lot nicer than I thought! Especially since I'm only used to having salad as an accompaniment, not something I'd normally put time and effort into for an actual MEAL.

Tomorrow I'm going over to visit Grandma with Joel and Auntie Pam. Grandma's recovering from a recent minor operation (well, I say "recovering," she was up and about within 2 weeks!) so the plan is to visit and take her out for lunch - the good news being that, surrounded by a supportive partner and family (all of which are dieting too), I'm sure I can easily be encouraged to make the right choice!

Mum and Dad are currently in France for 2 weeks, so have to make the decision of whether or not to go to Group on Monday. On the one hand, it'd be good to know where I'm up to, and if there's any damage control to do, or further success to log. On the other hand, it seems bonkers going all the way to Prestwich just for a weigh-in, using up Joel's petrol, and paying for class when I'm skint at the moment. May have to come to a decision tomorrow.

Oh, and one last thing to go in the "incentive" pile, as it were. Sian's mum got in touch with me today, regarding her hen do on the 24th of August - apparently the theme is 1940's. So you know what this means - gorgeous hairdo, red lipstick and high heels, and most importantly...... THE DRESS. You know the one I mean. Call up any mental image of a 40's dress and I bet it's the same as mine - low cut, polka dot, knee length, belted waist and flared skirt. Flattering to practically EVERYONE, and inherently prim, yet sexy.

This is the one I have in mind - from Dorothy Perkins. So, there's an incentive if ever I had one - just less than a month to drop what I've dropped in a mere WEEK of hard work - 4 and a half measly little pounds. Screw the tattoo convention - Aug 24th is now the new goal to get back to my 1 and a half stone again. I did it before, so I sure as hell can get there a second time. And as long as I'm down to my 2 Stone by France, then I'll be a very happy bunny!

Xxxxx

Summer Summary

Dear Diary,

Amidst all the moaning and raging yesterday, there's one thing I forgot to mention. One very important thing, actually. It would seem that whilst I'm not losing pounds..... I'm certainly losing inches. In fact, I can now exclusively reveal that I have GONE DOWN A DRESS SIZE!! That's right, I have made my way down from a Size 18 (and the occasional 20) to a Size 16. And it feels GOOD!! Well, mentally that is, I can't actually see any difference myself. Bought a pair of cool linen trousers for work (and for the current heatwave we seem to be having) in a Size 16, so have definitely confirmed that I've gone down, as trousers are normally the strictest indicator of size. Dresses can get away with more, whereas with trousers, there's nowhere to hide.

So yeah, have been feeling pretty thrilled recently. Not to mention I've been getting my legs out properly for the first time in years, thanks to all this sun. Normally I'd put up and shut up - but it's been too damned hot this year, and the sight of skinny women in shorts everywhere was winding me right up. A pair of shorts Alex gave me have been a GODSEND, sneakily hidden under my dresses to allow me to go out bare-legged, but without experiencing that dreaded "thigh-rub" that so many of us have to suffer.

 

Yep. There are shorts under that dress!

Call me crazy, but part of me felt like I was striking a bit of a blow by doing this. People don't always think about it too much, but they have no IDEA of the thousands of tiny humiliations overweight people have to go through every day, let alone in summer. Not being able to get your arms out, because you're ashamed of bingo wings. Having to sit and boil in clothes that are flattering, instead of revealing any body parts. Not being able to go bare-legged because you can't face the rash that generates from the inevitable thigh-rub. Having to hide away in black clothes, because bright, summery colours seem to accentuate your weight even more. Being embarrassed to walk past the constant parade of skinny, beautiful women prancing around in shorts and tiny tops, being embarrassed to even be sweaty in case people assume it's because of your weight, and not just because it's hot.

I don't know, maybe all that's just the way I feel. I don't claim to speak for other people - but as an overweight person, this is how I feel every. single. day. And while it's easy to throw your head back and joyfully declare that "at least I'm doing something about it, now!" it's still a pain to know that there's a long slog ahead, and that it's going to be at least next summer, or even the summer after before I too can strut about in shorts and little tops.
But for the time being, it still felt good to get my arms and legs out at Auntie Pam's on Sunday!




What other news is there? The only three things of note, two good/one bad:

The bad: Having a terrible Jesus-Christ-how-is-that-even-possible? moment when reading about an old school acquaintance's 1.8 stone loss - in a mere 10 weeks - on Facebook. Bearing in mind that the woman in question is bigger than me. Shame isn't a strong enough word.

The good: Being on the bus on the way to work and hearing "Rock ya body" by MVP come on my Ipod. While that may not mean much to a lot of you, it was an insanely popular song that was released in 2004.... and basically the soundtrack (along with Daddy Yankee's "Gasolina") to my, Louise's and Alex's first ever independent holiday to Gran Canaria. Personally, I can't HELP but think of summer every time I hear it - but this time, I was in shorts, with my legs out on the way to work.... and all I could think of was the support my friends have shown me along the way. I know I go on about it a lot, but it really does help!

The good again: Going to the gym in this weather. Yes, I said good. This is not strictly accurate. It's horrible, disgusting, humiliating, exhausting, twice as hard, and it KILLS. But the blissful swim in the pool, the cold shower afterwards, the imperial TONNE of sweat I lost (and therefore pounds, right? Right?!) and the over-whelming feeling of smugness evoked by doing such a batsh!t crazy thing made it all completely and utterly WORTH IT.

Oh, and......

THE BRILLIANT: Going to Mum's shop for breakfast this morning. This breakfast has been planned all week, and for good reason. It consisted of: Bacon, Egg (cooked in Fry Light), Mushrooms, Beans, Tomatoes, one slice of wholemeal toast, and Sausages. Probably should point out that these were specialised sausages that Mum ordered in from a shop in Oswaldtwistle that made Slimming World sausages using lean pork, or something. Anyway, they're Free, which is the important thing. So, to summarise, all of THIS:

..... was only 1 Syn. And that was ketchup.

Say it with me, AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW YEEEEEEEEEEAH!!!

This has been one fantastic week!

Xxxxx

Highs and Lows

GAIN: 3 POUNDS

Dear Diary,

As you see above, I have once again royally screwed up. After all of the whining, self-pitying, motivation and promises of last week - after trying hard to Food Optimise 100% and stick to it, I must have had a severe delayed reaction. Because just 4 days ago, I found myself back on the scales, brimful of confidence..... only to see that I've gone back to a mere 12 pounds total weight loss. Completely gutted if I'm honest, knew I'd mis-behaved but never assumed that it would catch up with me after 3 solid weeks of maintaining......

Decided to allow myself that one Monday night to p!ss and moan, flail about and bawl about how "I'm sick of being so f***ing FAT!!" before gritting my teeth Tuesday morning and swearing to carry on as planned.

The weekend before was a mixture of Good and Bad. Went out for Taylor's birthday on Friday - and whilst a very fun time was had, I stuck to a very modest three vodka-and-diet-cokes instead of my traditional concoction of cocktails, various spirits and cider. Saturday was fantastic, with Joel and I going to see a brilliant play called "The Machine," and then to Tampopos for my favourite Asian Free meal afterwards, for a lovely late tea.





And then Sunday was spent up at Auntie Pam's, who threw a beautiful summer buffet which was all taken entirely outside - and lasted from 1pm to roughly 10pm, as our family do's tend to! Well, technically, everybody else left about 8 o'clock, but Joel and I got asked to stay behind after Mum and Dad left. And it was fantastic - not only did we tan ourselves further by staying out in the garden chugging Prosecco/Diet Coke, but there was just this fantastic sense of school kids being let out of the classroom. Not to mention we left with a metric ton of healthy food and David's old Playstation 2, plus a small TV and about 20 games!



So that takes us back to Monday, and my inevitable foul mood. It didn't help AT ALL that after Group (and on the way home), my Gain was ALL Mum and Dad could talk about. I mean, I know it's a big thing in my life now, but I seriously just wish we could talk about something else for once. I know they care, I'm just getting a little bored of constantly being asked "how I've done this week," and "where I think I went wrong last week" etc.... On the way home, Dad (who clearly didn't get the "tell Dad I don't want to talk about it anymore" message I gave Mum) lasted through about 3 minutes of small talk, before jumping right back on the hot topic. Not to mention I was getting blasted from all angles for my "behaviour" at Auntie Pam's buffet for - SHOCK HORROR!! - eating one halved ciabatta roll and..... oh my god, ONE CRISP AND ONE MINI PRETZEL!! I know, right?! That's not even an exaggeration - I literally had one of each, before Dad started crying "Verboten! Verboten!" at me and frowning. Then I had Mum doing the whole "Should you really be doing that.....?" when Auntie Pam poured me a small glass of Prosecco (which, as you probably know is 4 Syns a glass, i.e: THE LOWEST FRICKING SYN VALUE for an alcoholic drink, bar Vodka and Bacardi) Not to mention the inevitable "Ooh, should you have taken that much?" when I walked out with a serving of ENTIRELY FREE FOOD. Lean beef, salad, tomatoes, peppers, salmon and prawns. Oh, and when dessert came out, all I had was a few grapes, a handful of raspberries, and a TABLESPOON of ice cream. Completely ignored the chocolate eclairs, roulade, and cheese with biscuits. But do you think anyone commended that? Nope, just pointed out the faults.

I mean, for God's sake!! One of the MAIN GODDAMN COMPONENTS of Slimming World is that you can eat hearty portions of Free food and that is FINE. You CAN have a second helpings of SuperFree food, meat and fish. Joan herself advised it at Group on Monday, when I begged to know what had gone wrong - told me that if you eat more Free food, it raises your metabolism. That's what Joan told me, a qualified dietician. I know for a fact that the reason I've gained so much lately is my total inability to keep my Syns below the allotted 15 a day - and it sure as sh!t ain't because I went back for a second helping of salad and fish on Sunday.

And what p!sses me off the most is how people at work and my family (apart from Auntie Pam and Grandma) spend all their time just JUDGING me on every little thing I put in my mouth - EVEN IF IT'S SLIMMING WORLD FOOD!!
Especially the guys at work; "Oooh, are you SURE you should be drinking Hot Chocolate, Katie?" "Well, yes, it's Low Fat Options hot chocolate that I've specially prepared, which is only two Syns." "Yeah..... but wouldn't it be better if you DIDN'T have the two Syns?" "It's only two." "But imagine if you DIDN'T have the two! Then it would be even HEALTHIER!!" "Well maybe, but if I did that every single day, I'd go absolutely stark-bollock mad, craving sweet things all the time, until one day the inevitable pressure of depriving myself constantly will make me completely snap, and go on an epic, pound-piling binge - which is the ONE THING Slimming World advises you against doing." "Hmmmm....." "You don't believe me, do you....?" "Wellllll..... it doesn't make sense to ME, but if that's the way you're doing it....."

Sorry, I'm just so f***ing SICK of people judging me all the time, especially when they don't even understand the rules of Slimming World - and aren't even ON it! - and only go off the whole eat-nothing-and-lose-weight shtick that's been so wrongly peddled for years, as opposed to the SW eat-a-balanced-diet-that-allows-for-a-daily-amount-of-sugar way. I realise I'm not losing weight at the rate I want to, but that's MY MISTAKE, because I've been f***ing stupid, lazy and irresponsible, not because SW doesn't work. It does. IF YOU DO IT PROPERLY.

Ugh, rant over. Had to get that out. Anyway, moving on to more pleasant notes: this week has been brilliant. Slotted effortlessly back into the Slimming ways, and have managed to keep my Syns down to below 15 (and even 10!) Syns a day. Went to see "The Machine" again on Wednesday with Auntie Pam (who was sold after I raved about it on Sunday) - and after spending all day on Google trying to figure out a healthy place to go for tea, eventually settled on fit Italian, Pertutti's. Oh my god. Go, if you are able. Had the same starter as Auntie Pam, which was tomato, rocket, garlic and basil bruschetta. As for the main course..... well, on a normal day I'd have leapt on the Seafood pizza without a moment's thought, but decided to Health it up by getting the same dish - but on Spaghetti instead of Pizza. We also refused desserts and resisted wine - bearing in mind that Me + Awesome Big Sister I Never Had + No-one driving, usually = WINE O'CLOCK! Allowed ourselves to feel very smug indeed, whilst enjoying a lovely, non-judgemental girly catch-up and planning what lovely healthy meals we're going to make/how much swimming and walking we're going to do in France.

Look at that. Seriously!

 

 

So, all in all, this week so far has been nothing short of great. Let's hope it continues!

 

 

Xxxxx

An Excellent Week

Dear Diary,

If I do say so, this week has been INCREDIBLE. With a huge dollop of inspiration in me from last weekend, I set to work much more focused and dedicated. Check it out:

MONDAY:

Made a HUGE portion of healthy veggie pasta which saw me through a tea and 2 lunches

TUESDAY:

Returned to the gym and didn't leave until drenched in endorphin-filled glory. (NB: Joel kicked off over some stupid little thing that night, and while the tiff didn't get resolved until Wednesday evening, was very good and didn't drown my sorrows in chocolate/wine etc.... Simply remained calm, made Omlette for tea and ate SW-approved snacks)

WEDNESDAY:

See above. Also, have got back into the habit of eating a regimented lunch at work every day - Wholemeal bread sandwich (using the 2 slices as Healthy Extra B), crisps (counting the Syns), Mugshot (Free) and Muller Lite yoghurt (Free). Snacks throughout the day = Apple (Superfree), Lite Baby Bel (Healthy Extra A) and Tomato Mackerel (Free).

THURSDAY:

Made absolutely gorgeous Seafood Risotto for tea. Eagle-eyed readers of this blog will surely remember the disastrous attempt at this dish last time, in which I took close to an HOUR merely stirring rice. But for some unfathomable reason, this time it all worked out beautifully. Chucked in prawns and mussels and the whole thing was a delight.

FRIDAY:

Joel made Fish and Chips for tea - I removed the breadcrumb batter from the fish and substituted chips for rice. Still managed to be delicious!

SATURDAY:

On shift-swap, so was in work where lunch/diet could be firmly kept an eye on. Made a variation on my famous Red Pepper Chicken casserole for tea - pan-fried chicken breasts stuffed with pepper slices, served with a chopped tomato, basil and onion salsa.

SUNDAY:

Making the most of not being in work, Joel and I went for a long, Body Magic-filled walk around town, stopping at Tampopo's for amazing (Free!) and favourite lunch of chicken breasts and flat noodles in Asian stock. For tea, had a gorgeous Gammon with mustard crust and a fried egg (in Fry-Light, of course!)

So there you have it. A brilliant week, that wasn't as hard to stick to as I thought. Just need to keep fingers crossed now and PRAY for a 1.5 pound loss tomorrow. Even if it's just half a pound, I'll be glad of anything. Actually, no I won't. That's just cheesy. I want to get what I aimed for and achieve what I planned, I want a goddamn HUGE loss - 3, maybe 4 pounds in one go, just to light a fire under my ass and get me going with fervor and excitement. Unlikely, I know. But then again, I once lost 8 pounds in a week. Who KNOWS what could happen?

Xxxxx

Contrite Apologies

Dear Diary,

Again, it's been a while. I really need to stop leaving it so long in between posts, before the few readers I actually have decide to turn tail and flee to more interesting blogs!

So, moving back a few weeks, when I made my last entry - as you may recall, I was getting ever-closer to the wonder that is Rihanna (and David Guetta) down in London. Well, the weekend was brilliant, London was beautiful as always, and it was fantastic to hang out with old friends (and fellow slimmers!) Not to mention the show itself was absolutely AMAZING - I maintain that nothing can make you feel happier than participating in a 70,000-strong rave-a-thon to "We found love" and "Only girl in the world." Even got a little choked up during the tour title end song ("Diamonds") just imagining how it must feel to have that many people sing your own lyrics back at you!

But I digress. If we take a minute to look at the weekend from a Slimming World perspective, this is how it went:

(DISCLAIMER: Any time I use the words "Good" and "Bad" - it is purely from a Slimming point of view. For example, I might describe an incredibly delicious and fun meal as "Bad," or a very long, knackering walk - that completely sucked ass - as "Good." OK? Cool.)
  
THURSDAY

Got paid and treated myself to two new dresses for the weekend. AND THEY WERE BOTH A SIZE 16!!! Haven't been a size 16 for 2 years,  nearly cried with joy - GOOD.

FRIDAY:

Arrived at Louise's after train-and-tube-journey for a lovely bridesmaids-meeting-the-ushers soiree' - Ushers were really funny and nice - and it was wicked to see Louise, Alex and Mark (Louise's fiance') again.

STARTER:

A very large, colourful assortment (or Antipasti, I think it's called) of cold meats, bread, mozzarella, peppers, gherkins, bruschettas, salsa and tomatoes - NOT SURE, POSSIBLY COMBINATION OF GOOD AND BAD - SUSPECT MOSTLY GOOD. Either way, felt very smug and happy munching on a pepper (which I've recently started liking - not to mention them being the design for my 2-Stone tattoo!)

MAIN:

A huge portion of 4-Cheese Lasagne with salad - SALAD = GOOD,  LASAGNE = BAD
DESSERT: 

 An UNBELIEVABLY gorgeous Chocolate and Polenta cake - BAD

DRINKS: 

Vodka and lemonade on arrival ("just the one, after that  train journey!") - GOOD
Rose' Wine - which started off as "just the one" but kept getting mysteriously topped up throughout the meal (which I suspect I didn't attempt to stop, the drunker I got) - BAD
Aquavit Dill - Some insane aperitif Mark served us that tasted exactly like whiskey, but apparently wasn't. Finished the whole glass. Don't even LIKE whiskey - BAD

SATURDAY: 

Woke up in Alex's' bed with APPALLING hangover - didn't even remember the journey from Barbican to Hammersmith. Cured hangover with nice walk to local caff for greasy fry-up  - BAD.

Being given some of Alex's clothes that are now too big for her - GOOD, AS ALEX IS VERY STYLISH AND THIS SHOULD IMPROVE CONFIDENCE..... BAD AS I HAVEN'T YET REACHED THE STAGE WHERE CLOTHES ARE TOO BIG FOR ME - AND AM NOW IN FRIEND'S CAST-OFFS.

Met up with the other girls to commence hair/make-up/dressing up preparations before going for a nice late lunch..... Sadly the pub we went to didn't seem to serve any salads - and any healthy looking fish dishes/steaks were WAY out of budget range. Opted for burger and chips - BAD, DEFINITELY BAD.

Walk from bus stop to Twickenham stadium - and consequently up 16 FLIGHTS of stairs to get to our seats - GOOD.
Raving to Rihanna and subsequent hour-long walk to alternative bus stop through a horde of 70,000 zombies (well, mostly drunk fellow gig-ers) - GOOD.
Midnight Pizzas and garlic dough balls back at Alex's - BAD.

SUNDAY:

Going for breakfast at balls-achingly cool and artisan cafe - had fry-up - BAD.

Hauling an insanely heavy (due to acquisition of Alex's clothes) overnight bag around Westfield and to tube station - GOOD.

Got home exhausted, sweaty and starving - only to find caring boyfriend had got us each a Subway for tea. Haven't had one in 6 months, tasted as good as a Last Meal - BAD.


So, there you have it. My amazing, fantastic, fun weekend turned out to be a bit of a shambles, Slimming-wise. Not to mention I got very ill on the Monday, and opted out of going to Group. Don't get me wrong, I was scared about what the scales would say - but I still would have liked to known how I did and and how much damage control was needed. Only problem is, I then spent the whole week gradually relaxing my standards so much, that by the time I got to Monday again, I was once  again poorly. It probably didn't help that on Sunday (the 23rd) after a Memorial Tree Planting for David, the whole family went for a nice pub lunch. Tried to be healthy (chicken and bacon salad to start, Fish Pie for mains, no pudding) but unfortunately, the combination of rich food and an incredibly aggressive Star Week was enough to knock me sick again - so ended up missing ANOTHER week at Group.

The week that followed wasn't the best. I lapsed further into unhealthiness, only went to the gym once, went to bed early every night and had constant stomach pains and bouts of lethargy. My bones started aching again - which even I know isn't right for a 26 year-old, I got tired easily and justified everything I did wrong with the occasional healthy meal and infrequent exercise. The good news is at least I must be somewhat adjusted to a healthier lifestyle, if eating unhealthy things messes my body up so much. The bad news is, I'll never be able to eat to my previous capacity again. And while that's certainly a good thing, I can't pretend I won't miss those nights where I could down pints/cocktails/spirits and still have room for cheesy chips afterwards.

But that said, last night I was ready for action. Despite constant dreading - and even one night where I had 4 consecutive nightmares about getting weighed (that reduced me to waking up in tears), I decided to pull my socks up and get back to work. Because I had something of a revelation over the weekend. It occurred to me that I am a predominantly lazy person. And whilst I already knew this, and even joke about it a lot - it sank in on Saturday when I looked around our house and saw it properly for the first time in ages. The bathroom that needed scrubbing, the pots that it was my turn to do stacked in the sink, the mess everywhere. The certificates on the wall and my weight chart that hadn't been updated since the beginning of June, my 1.5 Stone certificate taken down, and the beautiful necklace I bought myself for this achievement hidden away somewhere. The fact that Louise and Alex are STORMING ahead of me in the weight-loss stakes, despite us all starting Slimming World at the same time. The list of direct debits coming out and the budget of £10 I'd had to give myself for the week, due to my reckless over-spending in London. And I was fed up with it. Don't get me wrong, Joel and I don't live in a pigsty, but it just showed me how I seem to let things slide all the time.

So I've decided, that's it. I'm done with all this bollocks. I'm completely fed-up and bored of being a lazy, disorganized cock-up who never finishes anything, recklessly over-spends just because it's "fun," flakes out all the time and justifies everything with half-arsed excuses and implausible reasons not to do things that the rest of the population seem to manage quite easily. Right then and there, I made a decision to stop f***ing about,and be the best person I can. Spent the entire weekend relentlessly cleaning the house, getting into all those little corners and generally bringing everything up to showroom-standards. Cooked a wonderful Chicken and Mushroom casserole for tea, got a little exercise (not to mention the Body Magic engineered from waging war against the house) and generally felt a lot better about myself. So, yeah. No more excuses.

With that in mind, I returned to Group yesterday feeling a lot better about things. A little nervous, but ready to face whatever happened head-on. Would you believe it though, I MAINTAINED!!! After 3 weeks of - let's face it - VERY relaxed standards, I was genuinely expecting a gain of about 7 pounds. Thank God that wasn't the case - feel like I've had a very lucky escape. Have nothing to distract me from Slimming now, thanks to having almost NO social life for the next few months - not to mention plenty of Overtime coming up! The only events coming up in July are Taylor's birthday (one of Joel's friends) on the 12th, then Joel and I going for a meal and to see a play on the 13th. That's only ONE weekend out of a whole month - so I guess, for the Birthday I can just not drink (I've done it before when out with them), and if they go for a curry (as Taylor usually likes to do) just make sure I minimize my Syns for the week to do some damage control. As for the Play, I'm sure Joel and I can just find somewhere in town that does a healthy, Slimming-friendly meal, before enjoying the delights of a premiere about the World Chess Champion's battle against a machine.

Actually, now I think about it, there's a lot of upcoming events in August-September too. There's a Tattoo Convention at the Gmex on the 3rd of August, a friend's baby's 1st birthday on the 10th, Sian's Hen party on the 24th, and a girl from work's on the 31st, Joel's 30th birthday is on the 2nd of September, Sian's wedding on the 15th, and a family trip to France (for 4 days) on the 20th. So, whilst quite big events in themselves, only 7 in the course of 2 months! OK, I'm completely screwed, haha. But at least I can plan ahead. For the convention, I can always take a packed lunch, and not eat at any of the snack booths. For the baby birthday, hen do's, wedding, and Joel's 30th I'll just have to severely damage-control things, and France should be a doddle. Plenty of long walks, a swimming pool to ABUSE with exercise, and healthy Mediterranean food.

Coming back to last night, Louise and Alex were very encouraging on Skype, and together we worked out that if I lose a pound and a half a week, that should put me back to my 1.5 Stone by the Tattoo convention in August (irrelevant, but I like to have milestones!), 2 Stone by Sian's wedding/France in September, 2.5 Stone by my birthday in October, and 3 Stone by Christmas! So, am now in a very happy (and organized) state of mind, ready to face the week ahead.

BRING IT ON!!!!!!!!!!!


Xxxxx

Catching up...... again

Dear Diary,

First of all, a MASSIVE apology to any readers I may actually have, for the 2 month-long hiatus from this humble blog. Believe me, I had no plan or excuse for abandoning it for so long..... and it wasn't just the blog I ignored. But that's another story.

Actually, no it's not. Might as well go into it now.

So, as you may remember, back on the 22nd of May, I hit my next milestone by finally losing my Stone and a Half - the most I've ever lost. But unfortunately, and for no reason other than I got complacent and lazy, I p!ssed it all away and ended up putting on the whole half-stone again. Or, a pound shy of it, anyway. In the following 3 WEEKS.

I can't even begin to tell you how ashamed I am. How horrified I felt when I got back on those scales to see a 4.5 pound gain after a "fun week" of relaxing my standards "just a bit." But for me, "just a bit" isn't an extra bit of cheese now and again, a cheeky Snack bar one day, or being a little heavy-handed with the salad dressing. It was boozy nights out, chocolate bars after lunch every day, and takeaways for tea a few times when I "just couldn't be bothered" cooking that night. I was skipping the gym for practically a whole 2 weeks and justifying everything with a casual "oh, I've lost it before, it'll be fine" and protesting that everyone's allowed to treat themselves now and again.

But it's not right. There's treating yourself, and then there's throwing it out altogether. Slimming World is something that has to be stuck to. It's harsh but true - pounds do not lost themselves. It takes work, focus, and a sh!tload of effort - with a side of restraint. Yes, you can have the ODD lapse here and there, but have to get straight back on it the next day. And for me, the next day became a month.....

What's frustrating, more than anything is that I've completely set myself back, now. Instead of any further losses taking me on to my Club 10 (a mere 3 pounds away, by that point) or potentially reaching the longed-for 2 stone by the time we went to Rhianna, I've just tumbled all the way back to Square 1 (or, Square 1-stone). It ALL has to be re-lost, all over again - treading ground I've already covered before. That's the truly dis-heartening bit.

Before then, it was going great guns. I attempted to flex my baking muscle by providing some Slimming World vanilla and chocolate cheesecakes for Grandma's birthday buffet.....

Put simply, I never want to bake again. I suck at it. But at least the result were pretty. And rather strangely, people ate more of the Low-fat cheesecake than the Full-fat cheesecake. Would never have thought the "diet" option of something would be the tastiest..... (apart from diet coke, of course). As a side note: the only reason there was a "full fat" version was because Asda had run out of Quark, so had to substitute Marscapone instead.

I also treated myself to a beautiful Swarovski crystal-studded Apple necklace for my 1.5 Stone - but sadly no photos available at the moment as I hid it in a fit of rage, claiming I didn't "deserve" to wear it after my gain.... and currently can't remember where it is. So watch this space!

(Although, since I don't think I've posted it yet, here's my first half-stone necklace. Different, right?)



After this last fortnight of depression - this Monday's Group session really pricked my ears up. Joan was really inspirational, and seeing another Group member receive her 4 Stone award (after only being on SW for 2 MONTHS - what's she eating, DUST??!) gave me a kick up the backside. Not to mention a Skype conversation with Louise that took place before Alex logged on. Don't get me wrong, Joan's great but there's something about a conversation between 2 friends who've known each other 15 years that just beats being one in a room of 35 women (or men!) Being that it was a while ago, I can't remember exactly what was said - but suffice to say she made me feel tons better, helped me plan the week, encouraged me to return to the gym and generally inspired me to work harder. So if you're reading this: THANKS LOUISE!!! (*waves*)

So, that's what I did. Joel and I went back to the gym, which didn't feel hard as such, more like easier-than-I-thought-it-would-be. I discovered a new piece of equipment, the rowing machine, and enjoyed full use of the swimming pool again (HEAVEN in this weather!) I started planning my week, writing EVERYTHING down in a food diary again, and making healthy, SW meals. Haven't had a single takeaway or bit of chocolate - and my only deviation has been Squares crisps (5 syns a pack). Definitely a positive week!

So, we're back to where my story began. Almost at the end of a week that felt incredibly difficult, but at the same time, like coming home. Adjusting back into old routines and feeling - not praying - that I've lost weight this week. Monday will be my final weigh in before Rhianna, and even though all hopes of a Club 10/2 stone achievement have now flown out the window, the best I can hope for is some - ANY - kind of loss. Have no further obstacles this weekend - have work tomorrow (and work is where I can stick to a diet best) and am going for a meal at Mum and Dad's (which will 100% be a SW meal) so I'm quietly confident that I've done the best I can.

Also, if you'll permit me to go all girly (and nothing-to-do-with-Slimming-World) for a minute:

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!! OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD IT'S RHIANNA IN 7 DAYS!!! OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OHMYGODOHMYGODOHMYGOD AND DAVID GUETTA TOO!!! OH MY GOD AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!!!! I AM SO FRICKING EXCITED!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAGH OH MY GOD OH MY GOD!!! I'M GONNA BE SEEING RHIANNA AND DAVID GUETTA LIVE THIS TIME NEXT WEEK, SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!

That's all, folks!

xxxxxxx

Number-land (Part 2)

Dear Diary,

In keeping with my recent success, I decided to check back in and give an updated version of my losses:

STARTING WEIGHT: 17st 5lbs
STARTING WEIGHT IN KGS: 110.2kgs
STARTING WEIGHT IN LBS: 243lbs
STARTING BMI: 35.9

CURRENT WEIGHT: 15st 12lbs
CURRENT WEIGHT IN KGS: 100.5kgs
CURRENT WEIGHT IN LBS: 222lbs
CURRENT BMI: 32.8

WEIGHT LOST: 1st 7lbs
KILOGRAMS LOST: 10kgs
POUNDS LOST: 21
PERCENTAGE OF BODY WEIGHT LOST: 8.6%
BMI DECREASE: 3.1


So yeah, quite proud of those results! Have also definitely decided to stick with the idea of treating myself with certain weight loss milestones, as an extra incentive. Already decided on the small tattoos for the major ones, like the Stones, but have also opted to treat myself to a little bit of jewellry everytime I reach a Half-Stone. After all, there's no point getting new clothes every time, and a necklace is something pretty you can keep forever. The idea came today after a discussion Auntie Pam and I had today, about the money David left us - and how we're both going to buy a timeless pendant/bracelet etc.... to always remind us of him. So in a similar fashion, everytime I hit a half stone, I'm going to buy a cute necklace or a charm for my bracelet. Maybe fruit-themed.....?

xxxxx

RECIPE: Beef Bourginon

Dear Diary,

Today was my bi-weekly day off, and quite frankly, it was much better than the last one. Still on a high from last night, Joel and I decided to make it a fun yet productive day.

GOOD THINGS THAT HAPPENED TODAY:

I walked past my 1.5 stone certificate and got excited again.
We were up and out at the gym BY NINE O'CLOCK - which was actually kind of cool, given how there was virtually no-one there.
Had a nice lunch.
Joel got a phone call confirming he got the job he was interviewed for last week.
Caught "Evil Dead" at the Printworks (not a patch on the original, in my humble opinion).
Found out from Mum that David had left me £500 in his will - leaving me completely gobsmacked. Thanks to him, I can now afford the dream holiday to New York in Autumn.
Made a delicious Slimming World Beef Bourginon for tea.

And it is this, my friends, which I share with you today:

INGREDIENTS:

Diced Beef
900ml Beef Stock
100ml Red Wine
4 Shallots
2 Celery Sticks
3 Carrots
6 tbsp Tomato Passatta
2 Garlic cloves
6 button Mushrooms
Fry Light
4 Bacon rashers

SYNS:

1

TO MAKE:

Fry Shallots and Bacon in Fry Light in an oven-proof casserole dish for 5 mins. Remove.
Fry diced Beef in same dish, also in Fry Light. Once browned, add the bacon and shallots again, plus the Garlic, Passatta, Carrots, Celery, Wine and Stock. Season, and bring to the boil.

Cover with tin foil and cook in pre-heated oven for 1 hour (NB: The actual recipe says 2, but screw that, I ran out of time! Didn't affect the meal, though).
After this, put the chopped Mushrooms in the stew, and place back in oven, uncovered, for 30 mins. SERVE.

I say it about all these recipes, but it really is true - this meal packs an amazing scent, like a heady, Christmass, rich red-wine stewing kind of smell. Breathe it in and rejoice that such a wonderful meal exists.

Milestone Monday!!

Dear Diary,

LOSS: 3 POUNDS

Yes, you read that right. This week, I lost a WHOPPING 3 pounds, putting me firmly at my next longed-for milestone of 1 AND A HALF STONE!!

Obviously, I'm thrilled beyond all belief - was the only person to actually win an award at Group last night, but Joan was very sweet and announced that I'd worked really hard for it. So got a big clap from everyone, and lots of congratulations from my Auntie Sandra and co. (Mum wasn't there tonight as she'd booked it as a holiday - but rest assured she screamed down the phone when I rang to tell her!)

I'm so chuffed. Still can't believe it - it seems I'd managed to break the bob-around-one-weight-for-a-month pattern and finally changed my ways. I guess cooking healthy Slimming World teas this week definitely helped - not to mention dragging my ass to the gym during Star Week!
Oh my god - STAR WEEK!!! I'd completely forgotten! If I can lose 3 whole pounds whilst retaining water and going all bloated, IMAGINE what I could lose next week.....? If I keep it up, go to the gym, and keep cooking nice SW meals as often as I can, I could EASILY hit my 2 stone in the Race to Rhianna! (For those who don't know/can't remember - I'm going to see her on the 15th June with my friends in London, and my target is to lose 2 stone by then)

Back to tonight - Louise and Alex were unable to Skype/Facetime, so we arranged to do it tomorrow instead. After such a long day, I was kind of pleased - not that I don't LOVE talking to them every week and comparing notes, but I'm usually totally knackered after working all day, standing up for half an hour on a packed tram, bolting down some tea (poached egg on wholemeal toast, tonight), going to Group and then not being able to chill out properly until about 10pm. So instead, Joel and I went to Asda pick up a celebratory drink (beer for him, and mini bottle-that-equates-to-one-small-glass of Rose' for me) and curled up in front of Gordon Ramsey's Kitchen Nightmares for the night. I stuck my certificate up on both the Achievements Wall and my Facebook wall, and had about 8 "Likes" before the night was out.

 

 xxxxx

RECIPE: Provencal Chicken

Dear Diary,

As today was one of those lovely lazy Sundays where nothing needed doing except housework and tattoo after-care, I though it was the perfect chance to try out a recipe I hadn't done before, one that needed preparation and time. Got myself incredibly organised first thing in the morning by sorting/chopping/decanting all ingredients that didn't need cooking and setting them aside for later. The result? A stunning dish of French perfection, with a wonderful cassoulette to boot!

(P.S: On a side note, said tattoo is recovering nicely!)

 

 

(DISCLAIMER: My recipes are always to serve 2 - just use your own common sense. If you make too much, freeze some for another day. If you make too little - learn for next time! Also, this recipe doesn't accurately follow the Slimming World recipe, due to lack of certain ingredients - therefore some tiny changes have been made)

 

INGREDIENTS:

 

1 tsp Chilli Flakes

2 Chicken Breasts

Tin of Chopped tomatoes

Tomato Passatta

Lemon juice (from about 1/2 a lemon)

3 cloves of garlic

1 tbsp Herbs de Provence

150ml Chicken Stock

1/2 Red Onion (chopped)

3 Potatoes (peeled and thinly sliced) - OPTIONAL!

Fry Light

 

SYNS:

 

None!

 

TO MAKE:

 

Mix the Chopped Tomatoes and Red Onion together, and spread over the bottom of an oven-proof Casserole dish (having been sprayed with Fry Light first)

OPTIONAL! - If you want to thicken up the dish like I did, boil some Potato slices for 4-5 mins to soften, and arrange on top of the Tomato-Onion mix

 

 

Then cook your Chicken Breasts in Fry Light over a high heat for 4-5 minutes each side, before transferring to the Casserole dish.

Mix together the Herbs de Provence, Lemon juice, Chilli Flakes and chopped Garlic, and spread over the Chicken.



Finally, mix together the Stock and Passatta, and pour over the dish. Cover with tin foil and bake in the oven for 40 minutes. Remove the foil, and cook for a further 20 minutes. Breathe in that sexy, herby, French scent, and SERVE. Et voila, bon appetite!