First of all, a MASSIVE apology to any readers I may actually have, for the 2 month-long hiatus from this humble blog. Believe me, I had no plan or excuse for abandoning it for so long..... and it wasn't just the blog I ignored. But that's another story.
Actually, no it's not. Might as well go into it now.
So, as you may remember, back on the 22nd of May, I hit my next milestone by finally losing my Stone and a Half - the most I've ever lost. But unfortunately, and for no reason other than I got complacent and lazy, I p!ssed it all away and ended up putting on the whole half-stone again. Or, a pound shy of it, anyway. In the following 3 WEEKS.
I can't even begin to tell you how ashamed I am. How horrified I felt when I got back on those scales to see a 4.5 pound gain after a "fun week" of relaxing my standards "just a bit." But for me, "just a bit" isn't an extra bit of cheese now and again, a cheeky Snack bar one day, or being a little heavy-handed with the salad dressing. It was boozy nights out, chocolate bars after lunch every day, and takeaways for tea a few times when I "just couldn't be bothered" cooking that night. I was skipping the gym for practically a whole 2 weeks and justifying everything with a casual "oh, I've lost it before, it'll be fine" and protesting that everyone's allowed to treat themselves now and again.
But it's not right. There's treating yourself, and then there's throwing it out altogether. Slimming World is something that has to be stuck to. It's harsh but true - pounds do not lost themselves. It takes work, focus, and a sh!tload of effort - with a side of restraint. Yes, you can have the ODD lapse here and there, but have to get straight back on it the next day. And for me, the next day became a month.....
What's frustrating, more than anything is that I've completely set myself back, now. Instead of any further losses taking me on to my Club 10 (a mere 3 pounds away, by that point) or potentially reaching the longed-for 2 stone by the time we went to Rhianna, I've just tumbled all the way back to Square 1 (or, Square 1-stone). It ALL has to be re-lost, all over again - treading ground I've already covered before. That's the truly dis-heartening bit.
Before then, it was going great guns. I attempted to flex my baking muscle by providing some Slimming World vanilla and chocolate cheesecakes for Grandma's birthday buffet.....
Put simply, I never want to bake again. I suck at it. But at least the result were pretty. And rather strangely, people ate more of the Low-fat cheesecake than the Full-fat cheesecake. Would never have thought the "diet" option of something would be the tastiest..... (apart from diet coke, of course). As a side note: the only reason there was a "full fat" version was because Asda had run out of Quark, so had to substitute Marscapone instead.
I also treated myself to a beautiful Swarovski crystal-studded Apple necklace for my 1.5 Stone - but sadly no photos available at the moment as I hid it in a fit of rage, claiming I didn't "deserve" to wear it after my gain.... and currently can't remember where it is. So watch this space!
(Although, since I don't think I've posted it yet, here's my first half-stone necklace. Different, right?)
After this last fortnight of depression - this Monday's Group session really pricked my ears up. Joan was really inspirational, and seeing another Group member receive her 4 Stone award (after only being on SW for 2 MONTHS - what's she eating, DUST??!) gave me a kick up the backside. Not to mention a Skype conversation with Louise that took place before Alex logged on. Don't get me wrong, Joan's great but there's something about a conversation between 2 friends who've known each other 15 years that just beats being one in a room of 35 women (or men!) Being that it was a while ago, I can't remember exactly what was said - but suffice to say she made me feel tons better, helped me plan the week, encouraged me to return to the gym and generally inspired me to work harder. So if you're reading this: THANKS LOUISE!!! (*waves*)
So, that's what I did. Joel and I went back to the gym, which didn't feel hard as such, more like easier-than-I-thought-it-would-be. I discovered a new piece of equipment, the rowing machine, and enjoyed full use of the swimming pool again (HEAVEN in this weather!) I started planning my week, writing EVERYTHING down in a food diary again, and making healthy, SW meals. Haven't had a single takeaway or bit of chocolate - and my only deviation has been Squares crisps (5 syns a pack). Definitely a positive week!
So, we're back to where my story began. Almost at the end of a week that felt incredibly difficult, but at the same time, like coming home. Adjusting back into old routines and feeling - not praying - that I've lost weight this week. Monday will be my final weigh in before Rhianna, and even though all hopes of a Club 10/2 stone achievement have now flown out the window, the best I can hope for is some - ANY - kind of loss. Have no further obstacles this weekend - have work tomorrow (and work is where I can stick to a diet best) and am going for a meal at Mum and Dad's (which will 100% be a SW meal) so I'm quietly confident that I've done the best I can.
Also, if you'll permit me to go all girly (and nothing-to-do-with-Slimming-World) for a minute:
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!! OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD IT'S RHIANNA IN 7 DAYS!!! OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OHMYGODOHMYGODOHMYGOD AND DAVID GUETTA TOO!!! OH MY GOD AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!!!! I AM SO FRICKING EXCITED!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAGH OH MY GOD OH MY GOD!!! I'M GONNA BE SEEING RHIANNA AND DAVID GUETTA LIVE THIS TIME NEXT WEEK, SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!
That's all, folks!
xxxxxxx
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