Post-Christmas blues

Dear Diary,

It's been a rough couple of weeks. Over Christmas we lost a family member (my Auntie's partner, David) to throat cancer, which frankly made me forget all about the diet, and all about Slimming World. I cried a lot, drank heavily at the wake, and re-emerged myself in junk food once more - telling myself that some 26 year-old overweight girl was completely meaningless against the devastating pain of losing a loved one. My weight problems seemed completely insignificant in the grand scheme of things, and I didn't see any point in continuing. I was alive, and healthy, and felt like I had nothing to complain about, really.

But then I thought about it more. Yes, I'm alive, but that doesn't mean I should spend the rest of my days unhappy with myself. And while I may be healthy "on the surface," I knew deep down that inside, I'm not healthy at all. Just because I've never had a blood test doesn't mean I probably don't have hig pressure. Just because I've never asked the doctor doesn't mean I probably don't have high cholesterol. Me burying my head in the sand didn't mean that I probably don't have problems that really should be dealt with. So I decided that I owe it to myself and get healthy and happy. Life is WAY too short sometimes, and I wanted to spend it the right size, shape and weight for me.

David's situation gave me a new outlook on things. He's made me appreciate Life much more, and made me want to better myself, and be the best person I can be, while I'm here.
So I did more things I wanted to do, and changed my habits to become more productive, creative and organised. I got my first ever tattoo - one I've been wanting for ages, but with a slight change to the design: it included a Charlie Chaplin quote I'd read at David's funeral, as part of a eulogy.

 



I also started using a diary (one of his, actually) to become more organised. I go out a lot more and make an effort to see my friends more often. Joel and I are going to join a gym next week. And I've put loads more time and hard work into the book I'm working on.
And best of all - I've got back into Slimming World.

This week I lost 1 POUND, not much, I know, but I'll take anything I can get now, as long as it's off. Because now I know how short life is, I'd going to dedicate it to making myself feel good, making my parents proud, and achieving my dream through utter determination.


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Dedicated to the memory of David Arthur Girdlestone,

one of the funniest men I've ever known